How to Kill a Dog
Students:- (scream) by putting poison in their foodTeacher:- Now, how do you kill a chicken?
Students:- By putting poison in their food
Teacher:- how do you kill a rat?
Students:- By putting poison in their food
Teacher:- How do you kill a mosquito?
Student:- By injecting poison in our blood stream.
Mathematical Direction
I saw my SS1 mathematics teacher yesterday, we greeted, and he asked for directions to GTBank, that he wants to deposit a large subtle amount of liable currency into his domiciliary savings account for future reference and transactions.
In my mind I was like? Na fight?.. So this man never stop all this big big grammar..? I go show this man pepper
I told him to make 360° turn and walk like 1.8m, then find the coefficient of X using Pythagoras theorem and round it up to the nearest tens., he will see a big pharmacy which is perpendicular to his right Angle.., then make a obtuse angle turn, he will see the bank @ a distance about the logarithm of 7 and use four figure table to find the anti-log.
Let him feel what I felt while back @ school
This morning I heard on Radio that he's missing
I bet he didn't plot his graph well.
Using Scope to Learn
Who else pretend to be thinking of an answer whenever the teacher looks at you, but deep down you know your head is empty
You will now be reciting juju incantations silently so that the teacher will not call you but go and call your fat friend at your back.... Because if he doesn't knw it.. The teacher will beat him.. U will now be laughing because it will look like as if the teacher is flogging a bouncing castle.
Hydrogen
Teacher: Describe hydrogen
Student: It is a prostitute element
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
Student: It is a prostitute element
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
My Mathis Result
My name is SEUN Back in Primary school, I was very poor in Math.
During exams, I’d get between 2% and 8%. The
results used to be announced sequentially, that is from the lowest to the highest marks. So I would always be the first or second to be called out and flogged.
One day, the Math results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out.
The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% and 70%, still my paper had not been called out.
Everyone in the class kept looking at me asking, SEUN what’s up? How did you pass this exam?” And I was like ... "Well, na God o"
By the time the teacher got to 80%, I was already grinning in excitement. When he got to 90%, he had only one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Math? I was feeling very anxious and happy now. It was obvious my dreams and prayers have been answered.
The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. It was unbelievable.
Finally the teacher looked up and said,
“One silly student here did not write his name on the paper and he scored 0%. Who hasn't received his paper yet?”
The whole class echoed:
SEUN, na SEUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!oooooo
In fact, I was hospitalized for 2weeks.
During exams, I’d get between 2% and 8%. The
results used to be announced sequentially, that is from the lowest to the highest marks. So I would always be the first or second to be called out and flogged.
One day, the Math results were announced and my name wasn’t among the first to be called out.
The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% and 70%, still my paper had not been called out.
Everyone in the class kept looking at me asking, SEUN what’s up? How did you pass this exam?” And I was like ... "Well, na God o"
By the time the teacher got to 80%, I was already grinning in excitement. When he got to 90%, he had only one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in Math? I was feeling very anxious and happy now. It was obvious my dreams and prayers have been answered.
The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. It was unbelievable.
Finally the teacher looked up and said,
“One silly student here did not write his name on the paper and he scored 0%. Who hasn't received his paper yet?”
The whole class echoed:
SEUN, na SEUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!oooooo
In fact, I was hospitalized for 2weeks.
A Prof & Fuel Attendant
A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports to buy fuel. Professor: Guy abeg, give me full tank. Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don’t speak pidgin. I only speak English. Professor: Ok! Good morning. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Therefore I
cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.
Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan?
cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim.
Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan?
Nigerian Stammerer Joke
One day, a man who is a chronic stammerer, was looking for a particular street in lagos and could not find it so he decided to walk up to a brick layer and ask him for directions and he started asking: Peee peee please ay ay ay ay am loo oo loooo loooking for iiiiikorodu ro ro road. The bricklayer replied to the stammerer: Jus jus just fofo fo follow the the nes nes 2 2 streeet and and turn right that;s Ikorodu Ikorodu road! The stammerer got angry and gave the bricklayer a hot slap shouting are are u joking joking with me? The bricklayer surprised , replied : No I am a stammerer like you!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment